Dating/Love, Part 2?

So today as I was on a forum, someone made a thread announcing she got a boyfriend. Let's just call her "Lisa". And I got on this pretty interesting conversation with another user, whom I'll call "Jill". I thought I'd share with you the conversation. I suppose it's like a second part to my "dating/love" blog:

Lisa: "Today I got my first boyfriend! I mean yeah, I am young, but I have had a crush on this guy since 3rd grade. We were already really good friends so just pray this works out. Thanks and no insults please."

Jill: "Congrats! People need to know that when younger people get boyfriends it's not like 'kissing'. Or any of that stuff. People should stop making mean remarks about it. It's not wrong even if you think it is."

Me: "Our point is not just "getting physical". We're not being mean, we're giving advice because we care about you all. Just because it is something you don't want to hear, does not mean we aren't right.
We've had to go through this over and over and over...age and maturity matters when it comes to dating. What, you're like, 10, 11, Lisa? Dating prepares for marriage. It is important that you take you're relationship seriously, and to consider your plans for the future. You both will probably change as you get older. Do you think you'll still be dating him years from now? Most likely not."

Jill: "Well I was there like, 3 or 4 years ago and it wasn't anything at all. It was like a guy was your best-friend and you could hang out all the time with him. It's not a big deal."

Me: "Well if it wasn't "anything at all", and if it was just you and your best guy friend hanging out all the time, then it wasn't dating. The truth is, it IS a big deal. Dating prepares for marriage, how is that not a big deal?"

Jill: "But is she gonna get married?"

Me: "Maybe someday in her life, if it is God's will. But I really don't think that years from now she's going to marry this guy that she's dating now. She's too young to be dating."

Jill: "She most likely won't but people like to experiment."

Me: " Experiment?
The people you date are not "experiments". Dating is not something to be taken lightly...you have to really care about the person. (And I'm sure Lisa does) I'm just saying, that because it does prepare for marriage, you have to consider your possibilities for the future with him. If you know that you're probably not going to even get married to the one you're dating or the one you could date, then just don't date him. It's not worth it."

Jill: "I didn't mean it like that. I know it prepares you in the future for marriage. But let's just say you reeeeeally like this guy and you realllly want to go out with him. And you know that you won't ever marry him. Is that a reason to not go out with him? Bit silly."

Me: "
If you reeeeeeeally like him and you realllly want to go out with him but know that you won't ever marry him, then don't date him. You may think it's silly, but it's not. It's not worth the hurt."

Jill: "So you should just expect that someone going out with someone will eventually marry one day?"

Me: "You shouldn't always just expect it. But you have to consider it, and it's not something you just think about to yourself. It's something you need to talk about with the one you're dating.
I understand if you're mature and are dating someone, and you do actually talk about it with the one you're dating (about your future together). Then you think it will work out, but something comes up and you both realize that it's for the better that you don't continue dating/get married. Then you move on, and if it's God's will, He'll send you the right one."

Jill: "Okay, that makes sense. But why do you need to talk about marrying when you're, like, under 18? I'm not gonna do that, but I might, but I won't be telling my boyfriend about marrying him. He'll get weird around me and break up with me. Actually I don't have a boyfriend at the moment, but still."

Me: "Personally, I think a good age to start dating at is 16. I'll make a general statement and say that 16-year olds are probably more mature for dating and will actually think more about marriage. I do think it depends on maturity--for the couple. Not just one of them being mature for it and the other not. The point is that if you aren't mature for it, then you shouldn't talk about it with, and shouldn't date until you're ready and mature for it/talk about it.

If he'll get weird around you, and not being understanding about it, then he's most likely just not the one for you. (or, at the time, just not mature enough to talk about it or ready to talk about it)

However, if the couple is considering it, and talking about it, but they don't think it's the right time for them to date, then they can wait for each other, if they truly are that committed."

Jill: "You make dating sound not fun."

Me: "I don't mean to. I'm just saying in dating you should know when to be serious and what things you should consider. I'm not saying dating isn't fun--because it is since you're spending time with the one you care about, and doing fun things. But you have to know when to be serious too, is all. :) "

Perhaps you learned something from this. Maybe not. But I thought it was a good idea to share this.